After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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