Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
