i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
