no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
