I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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