Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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