Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
