Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
