Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
