I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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