32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You're a disaster
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