i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
