well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
