i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
