Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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