I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
