Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
