Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
