I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
