We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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