You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
