im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
