i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
