Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
