my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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