You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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