yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So vagazzling was a success
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
