I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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