and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
the raccoons are back...
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