I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
