I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Randomize
