pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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