tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
