Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
