I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
