im drinking this country out of the recession.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
