I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I think pants incapable of making pants work
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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