I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
