dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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