i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
