If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
