He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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