Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
