i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
