Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
