do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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