It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
