i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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