so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I have feelings that need drinking.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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