I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
