Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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