I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
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