Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I have fence marks all over my body
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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