Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
